Dear Bari

Oh Bari,

Reading Gruff's letter rekindled a spark in me I had thought was lost forever. Our wonderful memories keep following me wherever I go; our halcyon past will haunt me until the day I die. I must restrain myself and put a leash on these emotions. I try to exert proper brio and enthusiasm in everything I do, but I get so distracted whenever your lovely face pops into my head. I feel desultory, scrambling around aimlessly while I try to plan for college, knowing full well that you will not be attending the same university.

Before I met you, dates accused me of being a chauvinist. However, I found that my facade quickly became unnecessary as you broke down all of my barriers and allowed me to be who I truly am. My other girlfriends were simple ingenues compared to you. I so want us to reunite, but I know we cannot. The mere adjoining of my hand and yours would be too much for poor Gruff to bear. So it is with a heavy heart and much regret that I attempt free you from my soul.

Goodbye Bari, goodbye...

Speaking of Love

A friend of mine requested that he be given the opportunity to contact someone via my blog so I figured I'd grant him this chance to reconcile with his true love.

Dearest Bari,

The evolution of our love might have seemed slow to you, but it was a crescendo of desire for me. I realize that this communication might be viewed as a flagrant breach of our separation, but seeing as how our love was a labyrinth, I see it only fit that our demise be just as complicated.

As I'm sure you already know, our split hit me with a paroxysm of sorrow. I know you viewed my tears as an aberration of masculinity, but you are culpable for their onset. Your demeanor of nonchalance and disinterest even in the emotions you imbued in me stabbed at my heart like an ice-pick shattering the only part of me capable of love.

As implicit as my yearning for you may be, I wouldn't importune you with further requests of reuniting when I already know you are the very antipode of second chances.

Sincerely yours,

Gruff

(btw 'les chicas' enjoy this, you know who you are!)

Halloween Child

First off, I'd like to apologize to the parents of this baby for commandeering his photo. Hopefully they have no qualms about it: but really, if they didn't want strangers looking at their babe then they shouldn't have posted his picture all over google.

On a totally unrelated note- my birthday is on mischief night. Now that I am older this is no longer a problem, however back in the days of going out and toilet-papering, this celebration usually impeded my fun. While all of my buds were out and about enjoying the omnipotent abilities that come from wielding a shaving cream can, I was stuck in a maudlin stupor. Naturally a gregarious and fun-loving individual, I was forced into being the pariah of the night-life festivity partakers. My friends used to stop by and 'decorate' my house every year, but this merely exacerbated the problem. Their toilet-paper canopies simply reminded me of the fun I wasn't having. I was in a state of abeyance - I couldn't complain about my friends coming, but I couldn't emulate happiness for them either. When they'd show up at my house I'd try to assimilate myself in with them, but they always had stories I couldn't relate to.

Now that I'm older I love throwing eccentric birthday bashes: apple picking, corn mazes, scary movies, pumpkin carving, haunted houses, costume parties, hunting for the Jersey Devil. All of these parties wouldn't have been possible if I had been born in the summer or the winter. I can't think of a better day for a birthday! I'm a fall baby by nature and a Halloween child by choice.